Oh my gosh... I am to the point where I feel that I might need help. It's a problem and it has been for a long time. Only now, my problem has had physical ramifications that border on absurd. Fear of Roaches.
I was doing the laundry last Wednesday night. The same Wednesday night that preceded our Jacksonville, FL trip that was to begin promptly at 5:00 a.m. in the morning on Thursday. There was nothing out of the ordinary about that trip to the laundry room, except that I left wet towels on the floor from the night before AND I hadn't turned on the laundry room light as I felt it was still bright enough outside.
Load 1...finished and loaded into the dryer without incident.
Load 2...started off well, but as I'm lifting a towel to throw it into the wash, a GIGANTIC roach drops onto the floor and scurries my way (of course).
I scream, turn and jump about 10 feet out the door of the laundry room. During the jump, I feel a horrible pain in the back of my calf and what I can only describe as a pop that sounded in my brain. How's this for adrenaline: I run another ten feet before collapsing on the floor rubbing the back of my calf and in horrendous pain. I'm sitting there rocking back and forth on my rear-end, looking at my father-in-law, who is there to play with Clare. He is standing over me quite shocked and trying to figure out what just happened. I mention roach and pain and that I think something has hit me in the back of my leg. Mason walks in at this point and is trying to figure out the situation. I fall to pieces and start to cry because the pain is so intense at this point. I'm massaging my calf and ask him to go into the laundry room to see what hit me in the back of the leg.
He looks....
There is nothing...
Maybe I just have a cramp in my leg or something?
At his urging, I get up to try to "walk it off" only to realize that the pain I feel when I stand up to walk is worse than what I feel sitting in the modified fetal position. I try it repeatedly until my head gets light and I hobble to the bathroom to vomit. Hmm...I don't think this is a cramp.
I'm a little freaked out at this point because I've begun to realize that I can't walk and we're leaving to go on vacation in under 12 hours. Stir panic into pain and the night has taken a decided turn for the worse. Mason looks up my description of what happened pain wise and says it could be one of three kinds of things. One is not great, but ok. One is worse, and less ok, but still ok. The last is bad and of course, since I can't walk, I'm convinced this is what has happened to me.
This is the best part. As I consider what to do, Mason sets me up on the couch with a pillow to support my leg, an ice pack, hands me a beer and an Aleve for pain. He tells me to wait here while he heads out to run and get his hair cut. He makes Clare dinner, gets his dad to stick around with Clare until his mom can get there and heads on out. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I didn't know if I would be able to walk the next day, and at this point I'm thinking I'm not going to be able to go on my anniversary trip the following week, Clare is hysterical because I wouldn't get up and play with her and we were absolutely not packed to leave the house at 6:00 a.m. What does anyone in this position do? I called Momma. I will never forget her voice...it was as stern as I remembered when she means business.
"You need to go to the doctor, NOW. Do you think this is a game? These are your legs. You cannot walk. The trip is the last thing you should be worried about! What if you need to go into physical therapy immediately?!!!" she growled at me.
I thanked her, hung up and called Mason, who was getting his hair cut.
A doctor's visit later, approval for my trip, some pain medicine, crutches and a new outlook...we were back at the house laughing and getting ready for the trip again. I've got wheelchair pictures from the airport (it's the latest craze people). I felt stupid "swaggering" all weekend in Florida alternating from toe walking to flat-footing it, but man did we have fun and the leg is already 1000 times better than it was five days ago.
Now all I have to do is get rid of all of the roaches in the world. I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but they're dangerous little buggers. Look at what just one was capable of doing. It seems as if it managed to fly into the back of my leg as I ran to escape it's fearsome grasp. On my way out it tried to incapacitate me. Vicious thing wanted to ruin my vacation time. Probably in the hopes of eating my face off when I wasn't looking.
Just wait until we meet again...