Sigh...adding insult to my injury...
I have embarked on the great dancing class journey for Clare as she is quickly closing in on two and it is time. Want to know what I have discovered? Well, it's crap. I have found that all of the classes offered by the "best of the best" are Mommy and me classes (which are great), but they are somewhere between 9 a.m. and 10:15 a.m.
Wow. Isn't that awesome! I mean, I cannot wait to take Clare to....
Oh wait...
I guess those of us who work and have children, well, our children can just hobble on one leg and call it dancing.
It's not bad enough that I question my motives everyday that I drop Clare off at school. I hate leaving her. I wish I could spend every waking moment of my life with her. But, am I a bad mother because I actually want to go to work? I don't think so! I don't judge stay-at-home moms, why do I feel like the world is judging me in return (of course it is in a nice, neat, and label conscious passive aggressive package called "dance class time smack in the face")?
Mason has offered to downsize, and we can do what it would take to make it work. I think for awhile this would have been preferable to him, in all honesty. The problem is, I like it. I like to work. I enjoy the time I spend learning about other people, about myself in foreign environments, doing my job, getting that fulfillment, feeling like I contribute to many people's happiness. I feel like I bring this joy home with me and that translates positively to her. Also, once I'm with her, I'm WITH her. From the moment she wakes, to the moment she's out of my hands, she has my 100% undivided attention (minus ten minutes to dry the hair). The same is true from the time I see her once I'm off until she goes to bed (no exceptions for hair here).
Will she be any less of a woman than her friends with non-workforce moms? I doubt it. Will she be any better? Of course, because she's my baby and she'll always be better than anyone on the planet - jeez. Yeah, even we working moms get this question correct!
Oh well, stupid dance classes. I'll find one, and when I do, I'm telling all of my other working mother friends. One day this will make a difference in business and then all of those places that only offer classes from 9:00 to 11:00 will be forced to recognize our "Mommy and Me" time too - even if it's after 5:00 in the afternoon - or at least this is how it works inside my mind.