I'm really struggling today with hurt. To be honest it's because I've been trying to reach out to someone I think of as a friend lately, and I feel like I've been getting the run around each time. I'm hurt and confused and tired of reaching out at all. Frankly, I can't quite figure out why I should make any further effort. "Forget it", I think.
I don't know how not to take it personally when I hear about how full her life is with communication and commitments to others. I don't know how not to think back on the last few times we've talked or emailed and to realize that I'm the singular voice trying to reach out. I realized this morning that if I didn't call or didn't email, then the friendship would dry up. If anything, we would be merely acquaintances. It was this sudden realization that I wasn't really ever a friend at all....from here my hurt springs.