I'm sitting here with my hot tea looking at this screen and just thinking. I've been thinking about this past year a lot.
Some of the thoughts are weightier than others, such as, you can not make someone want to be your friend no matter how hard you try. I've decided I wasted a disproportionate amount of time doing just that this past year. I've always thought that to be rejected as a friend was to be, well, rejected. The best part is that I've played martyr to myself all in the name of my spiritual walk. I told myself that being a Christian meant I had to keep going back for more. I think after struggling with repeated rejection, what I've truly found through my spiritual walk this year is that it's ok to reach out in friendship, be rejected, still love that person for who they are and be genuinely happy to see that person when life brings you together, but...and this is a BIG but....there is absolutely no need to keep going back for more. Self inflicted emotional trauma doesn't give you any "gold stars".
So that was the one big thought I had. No really, that was it. I realize that there are still black holes in space waiting to consume our galaxy, that the economy is collapsing, and that psychics are predicting certain earth ending doom, but this was pretty much it for me.
Some of my thoughts have been much more fun, such as the fact that the people around town are really shooting me in the foot with their lingering Christmas decorations. Why?
Clare: "I want to see Santa Claus Mommy?"
Mommy: "Christmas is over Clare, we won't see him again for another year. Remember?"
Clare (as we're driving to school this morning): "Look Mommy, Santa Claus!"
Mommy (in my head): Great, they have their stupid Santa in their yard six days after Christmas is over
Mommy (out loud): "Yes baby, That's Santa's picture. Santa hasn't pick up their decorations yet"
Clare: "Frosty?"
Mommy: "Frosty will be back next Christmas"
Clare (as we drive past El Pablano): "Look Mommy, Frosty!"
Mommy (in my head): I did not realize that frosty wore a sombrero. The Mexican food frosty kind of looks a little cliche
Mommy (out loud): "Yep, that sure is Frosty."
Clare (with a huge smile, and in the correct key over over until we arrive at school): "Frosty the snowman..don't know the words so I'll mumble...and repeat...Frosty the snowman...
Mommy (in my head): She's way to smart for me. I'm going to have to give my explanations more thought next year.
In case that fourth line up there started you wondering about Santa picking up their decorations, Santa picked up our decorations/movies/stockings/etc the day after Christmas. He will only bring them back at the appropriate time next year, Thanksgiving night, after Clare is asleep. This was a preemptive effort to avoid the meltdown that was sure to come after the total and complete overdose of all things Christmas from the day after thanksgiving to Christmas day. "Rudolph the Reindeers" was cute up to the very last request, but I felt like I needed to preserve my sanity and limit my exposure to it beyond Christmas day. The only exception to the decorations was that being away from "the baby Jesus and gonkey" was more than she could take so I consented and now the nativity is part of her collection in her play room and her dolls that have tea. I think the baby Jesus and "gonkey" would be alright with this.