If you're not laughing by the time you're finished with this, go smack yourself because you need to lighten up. Oh, and these are all real.
1. I am not a morning person. In fact, I'm not a night person either. I'm kind of a broad daylight person. If it gets dark, I'm ready to go to bed. In fact, I was asleep by 8:20 last night and was giddy about it.
2. I am mean as a bear if you wake me up unexpectedly within the first two hours of my going to sleep. Also, I get "googlie eyes" if I wake up during this time, oh, and I don't always wake up. I'll carry on a really real conversation with googlie eye and not know it. Freaky I know. It creeps Mason out - really it does.
3. I quietly obsess about shoes and truly delight when I can buy a new pair for any reason, but I never buy the pairs that I actually want because I try to be more practical. If I had a lot of money I would own a small country's worth of shoes. Thank goodness I don't have a lot of money.
4. I sneak to watch the Girls Next Door (yes, the Heff, Holly, Bridget, and Kendra Show). I usually do it on Sunday nights when the band is at the house and upstairs, and I have put Clare down to sleep. If I hear anyone coming down the stairs, I turn it to another channel.
5. I don't care that you just gasped that I sneak the Girls Next Door.
6. I write notes to myself on the back of my hand because I refuse to get any version of PDA or phone that will function as a phone and PDA. Don't want to be too connected. The back of the hand works better than the palm, but it is more conspicuous. I do this because the palm is more likely to transfer to my face. Yes, I know what you're thinking.
7. I await the mail truck like it's the second coming. I don't know why. Mason busted me on Tuesday about this. I thought I was hiding it.
8. I hate boogers. Hate hate hate them. I keep Kleenex with me at all times. They literally feel like rocks in your nose.
9. I can stare so hard at something that I actually can't hear what people around me are saying. Sometimes I have to ask people to repeat themselves because this happens. I believe this is referred to as day dreaming, it's much like my googlie eye dream talking, but it's while I'm awake and really it's the opposite.
10. I want to learn Spanish, but I'm too lazy. I even bought the Rosetta Stone and threw the hundreds of dollars away, but would rather be sleeping.