I was called out on my fluff piece. I think the comment was, “I certainly thought you would write something better after being gone for so long.” (Better here obviously meaning more "lael" – whatever that means). To the person who said it to me, I accept your challenge. Here is the truth.
The first truth is I just wrote that story because I knew I hadn’t written anything in a long time and people (a lot more than I thought would care) were complaining. It would have been better suited for Clare’s journal that I keep. I filed it in the wrong place. Chickmunk is really cute, seriously, you know you smiled.
The second truth is that I have been very nervous about posting anything but fluff here because Mason and I work with the youth now, and I don’t feel like getting in trouble because of my opinions or my words. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m kind of opinionated and bitchy some (a lot of) times. I also pepper my writing with questionable opinions and words. They live in my head; I just haven’t been letting them out. These are all really charming qualities once you get to know me, or not. A side note to my second truth is that I don’t really care if you think I’m charming or not; You get what you see.
The third truth is a few people have found my blog who I really don’t want reading my stuff. For a few months, I have considered closing this blog and getting a new one, but the somewhat bitchy side of me finally said, “Nuh-uh, no way. This is my place, you leave…not me.” If you’re reading my blog and I haven’t talked to you in oh say, seven years or more…quit... you’re not invited to my little party. You want to keep up with me, then you should call me or email me. If you don’t know how to get in touch with me, comment and ask. If you don’t want to get in touch with me to get reacquainted, you are definitely one of the “who” I am referring to. Strangers, please continue to read at will , this isn’t directed at you.
The fourth truth is that I am a disaster when I write. My grammar is questionable. My verb tense is off most of the time. My punctuation is thrown in there with very little understanding as to what I am doing. My sentence structure is convoluted. My thoughts are scattered. I love it. It’s so me. No judging allowed. I’m smart, real smart. You would never really know that by looking at what and how I write. If you want to test how smart you are verses how smart I am, we can arm wrestle. (revisted - see...look at how I spelled 'verses'. It's wrong and I didn't know until someone told me. You know what, it stays...my blog, my rules, my wrong. Also, I'm not really that strong)
So there you go. I needed to eject six months of I’m not sure what I can post here anymore. I feel less like writing fluff and more like being me; I’m sure you’re all relieved. I know I am. Part of me is now trying to maintain a little more balance between opinionated and bitchy and wise and gentle. Don’t fear. I’m still awful. I’m still opinionated. I’m still bitchy. I was born this way. Ask my mother, she’ll be delighted to tell you exactly what part of my body came into the world first and what I did to everyone around me. The story fits my personality, even to this day. (hugs mom)
Until next time, remember you probably are the armpit of God...and...you are going to have to find a way to be ok with that. Besides, where would the arm be without the armpit? It would be a disaster. I mean, we don’t have knee pits or elbow pits or leg pits; Think about it.