Often within the church, we wives are encouraged to "submit" to our husbands. The meaning of this changes based on which church and doctrine you subscribe to; however, it exists in all of them to one degree or another. Whenever I hear the role of a wife described in the Bible, I physically, mentally and emotionally bristle.
Frankly, to submit, requires you to give up your authority over your life and give it to someone else. Now, why would God want me to give up the authority of my life to someone fallible and not just go directly to Him? Why would it be more important that I submit to my husband, rather than just love my husband as the Bible reminds our husbands to do to us? Am I somehow not capable of making a decision, disagreeing with a point, protesting injustice, solving problems, making friends, or handling situations? Why would I be asked to give final say of these things to another sinning human being? Why would I not expect to do all of this based on the same resources that a man (presumably my husband) would have at his hands - The Bible, Prayer, the church, etc? What if I had prayed and felt the Hand of God in my life and on my decision, and my husband objected? Under this pretense, who then is my authority - didn't the Bible give it to my husband as I am defined as his wife? What are the rules for disobedience? When is it OK? What constitutes disobedience? If you're disobedient, are there ramifications? Does God then look down on me with displeasure because I chanced to come to Him without going through my husband first and don't follow the will of my husband? If this is overkill, then when should I submit and when should I not. Where are those rules? Is it when we're in a disagreement? Does it mean that I don't question him? How does this apply to my life?
The implications are HUGE and VAGUE all at the same time.
This isn't meant to be inflammatory as much as it is to question the idea that I am compelled through my religion to submit to some"one" else at all. To take the argument further, who does Mason submit to? Of course, the answer being God. So because the language of our marriage contract states that he is the "husband" and I am the "wife" (or he is the man and I am the woman), then I somehow need help communicating with God in order to determine the correct path for my life. Aren't the implications bigger than this if you really subscribe to 'wives submit to your husbands'...doesn't this hearken back to a time where women were both thought to be and required to live as substandard humans, where their voices were not heard and could not be heard because "our brains were not capable of understanding"...we were somehow inferior? Did God create us equally, or did he somehow give man and not woman the upper hand intentionally? If I was created to be lesser, then why give me the same abilities to think, process ideas and reason...why not make it something more like that of a dog or cat without the ability to reason beyond basic commands? We ask our pets to submit to us and our will. I reject the idea that I am my husband's pet and am at his whim. I see nothing loving about this, nor do I see this as a valid offering of my life and abilities to my God.
It should be noted, that Mason would never expect my submission or condone it. I believe he would recoil if I were to display this behavior (well, maybe not recoil, but he would be surprised and get bored with it after awhile :)). What he loves most about me is that I am his equal, his partner, his friend. These three definitions of our relationship know no understanding of hierarchy and authority. In order to be these things, we must work harder than anything else to bring respect and fairness to the table (and we're still working at this daily). Love is required for both of us. Submission to God is required of both of us. Working toward a common goal is required of both of us. There is no putting one's foot down. There is no "final say". I can't say that I necessarily care about this verse as it pertains to my life. I don't have to care, it's not expected of me. What I hate is the way it is a thumb over women at large within the church. We as women are tied to the rule of man (notoriously corrupt). Man submits to God directly (perfect, infallible, full of Grace and Mercy). I also hate knowing that I will raise my daughter on these words and will have to do everything I can to help her believe that she is as full of worth and as capable as any man will ever be - including her husband should she choose to marry one day.