We had our first family photo shoot. It was amazing. We met early Sunday morning, pre-church, on historic Morris Avenue with Grethel (pronounced Gretel). It was raining up to the half hour before we were to meet, but miraculously the wind started blowing, the sun came out, and the sky turned blue with big billowing cotton clouds for the entire session. Not just any color blue, but storybook blue with a light that I would describe as delicate, which is odd for that first morning sun. Absolutely incredible I tell you. When I first saw Grethel's work, I thought to myself that she had "the eye" that I was looking for in a photographer. It turns out, she does and then some. She captured the love in our family in the setting we love. Every picture portrays some beauty that I dreamed of capturing. I cannot wait to get the pictures to post - to own the rights to every one of them because I couldn't pick any that I didn't want to keep forever. I'm content and grateful - and it's all because a picture is truly worth a thousand words.
http://www.gvephotography.com/
Open Road
I’m going to let you all into my deepest most private thoughts. These are the things I day dream about and they’re pretty simple, but the impact could be so huge. What I need from people reading this blog is that you all hold me accountable – even if you don’t know me personally at all. Check in on me, pester me, and ask me about each of these things no matter who you are. Force me out of my contentment and encourage me to do more than just day dream. Make me get specific. Come out of your blog hiding and change a life. It could be your comment or suggestion that is the break through that I need – can you imagine having that kind of impact? Wouldn’t that make you smile if you knew you’d had that kind of impact? I know I would.
Things I want to do with my life…NOW… not just sometime before I die!
Things I want to do with my life…NOW… not just sometime before I die!
1. I want to be a great Mother and Wife. I want to do this by putting my family first and loving them with all of my heart and making sure that I cultivate a relationship with God that teaches me how to do this the right way. If I fail at this, nothing else on this list will matter.
2. I want to get involved with helping children in need, specifically children who are voiceless. Those who have no one willing to speak for them, care about them, think about them first. I don’t know if that’s abused children, orphan children, foster children, homeless children, or an unknown category that I have yet to be introduced. But I know in my deepest heart that I want to somehow give them a voice and teach us all to collectively care about each one of them in ways they never dreamed they would know.
3. I want to regularly travel the world. I don’t just mean I want to “see the world” for pleasure; I mean I want to go into the world and do what I can to help those in need the best way that I can in any given situation – either financially, physically, emotionally, spiritually…however I can be used to serve those in need. I don’t want it to be for my own gratification (although there are some places I would just like to see for very selfish reasons). I would like to do this as part of my faith, but it doesn’t really matter since I’ll be taking that faith with me no matter how this manifests itself.
4. I want to incorporate my running with these things. I’m not great now and that’s ok to me. I’m just doing it. You know what though? It’s people that are just “doing it” that get things done. I don’t have to wait until I’m amazing at something to be useful. I think that I’ll be good (maybe even great one day) at what I love to do, and I love all of these things so that’s a good start right? I only regret that I waited so late in my life to start thinking this way. I’ve wasted a lot of time thinking “when I get better at ‘XYZ’, then I’ll do ‘ABC’.”
5. I would like to run Marathons to raise money and awareness for #2. (Again, sketchy on the details since I’m doing good to run five miles right now and I’ve never been comfortable asking for anything in my life).
So, there you have it. I have no details. I have no real plan. I just have these five things and honestly that’s a great place to start if you ask me, as long as someone holds me accountable(many someones preferrably) for actually doing them.
So, there you have it. I have no details. I have no real plan. I just have these five things and honestly that’s a great place to start if you ask me, as long as someone holds me accountable(many someones preferrably) for actually doing them.
Mother's Day
As we approach the day we celebrate our motherhood with other women, please let us remember that there are mothers out there who are in need. Please let us forget the trinkets we desire or the new outfit we want so desperately as a gift, and for a moment focus on and celebrate the women world wide who work so hard for their families and will probably never own anything new, but will work so that their children do. Did you know that among every race and culture on the planet the following statement is true, 'A mother will often be the last to eat – instead saving food for her children and other family members'. This is one of the many things we're celebrating on Mother's Day - the sincere gift of sacrifice. In that vein, I have borrowed the following pictures and statistics from the world food programme to share with you. Please consider helping as part of your gift to other mothers out there with very little to celebrate on Sunday.
Breaking the cycle of hunger and poverty at its roots begins with women. Hunger breeds insecurity and often exacerbates circumstances that lead to conflict and crisis, and creates situations where women and girls are often the victims of abuse, rape and violence.
Educated mothers have healthier families. Their children are better nourished, less likely to die in infancy and more likely to attend school. (Source: FAO) However, continuing high food prices have forced families to reduce their food intake while increasing the workload of women in order to earn more income to purchase food. 
Women are the world’s primary food producers, yet cultural traditions and social structures often mean women are much more affected by hunger and poverty than men. Increasing opportunities for mothers has a particularly strong impact on hunger because women devote much more of their income directly to feeding their families than men do. One study found that increasing women's primary schooling could boost agricultural output by 24%. (Source: World Bank)
I hope when you read this today, that you will be moved to visit this website. You would probably be surprised to know that $25 can feed a child for half a year and $50will do so for a whole year.
www.wfp.org
Cinco de Mile-o!
I ran my first 5 mile course today. It’s ironic isn’t it – I mean Cinco de Mayo? I was/am enormously proud and happy and grateful for this triumph.
When I felt like quitting, I just slowed down and thought about something else or tried to strike up a prayer conversation. Someone in far better shape bound past me late in the game. She was happy and cheerful and said something about the approaching rain. At the time, I was focused on not making the face that is creating the crevice in between my eyes, so I smile broadly at her while she passed me. As she sped away, I watched her in admiration. “I want to be like that,” I thought. For the last mile I pondered what “that” was, and it turns out to be someone who was capable and joyful, and capable of bringing joy by being capable and joyful (I was quite tired at this point please understand). This was my new standard of ability – not just the accomplishment, but the effect of the accomplishment.
I had this revelation about my faith and my running this morning that translated well into today’s personal achievement. I’ll see if I can clarify. I am totally obsessed with running now. I was never a runner before March of 2008. I had never run even a ¼ of a mile and the thought of running 5 miles seemed absolutely ridiculous. I mean, why would a normal person feel the need to run at all, much less 5 miles or more for that matter? But, I would hear people talking about it and they were so enthusiastic that it seemed they really enjoyed it and relished in the time and accomplishment. It was more than just running; it was an opportunity to grow as a person, to create friendships, to push yourself beyond your boundaries, to organize life in a way. I would listen and mock them all at the same time.
“Whatever…. you bunch of nutballs,” I would say to myself.
Now I’m the nutball running around telling everyone I speak to, “You’ve got to try this, it’s the best thing ever…seriously. I mean I’ve never felt so good. Here is what it’s done in my life…. I can’t tell you how great this is and it’s really easy and I used this program to get started and do you want the link? I would love to run with you as you get started. I promise this is good. Really, it’s not a trap to make you feel worse, it really is wonderful.” Guess what, I’m the one getting the “nutball” looks now and I know why because I’ve been there and I recognize the looks of intrusion and disbelief.
“Whatever…. you bunch of nutballs,” I would say to myself.
Now I’m the nutball running around telling everyone I speak to, “You’ve got to try this, it’s the best thing ever…seriously. I mean I’ve never felt so good. Here is what it’s done in my life…. I can’t tell you how great this is and it’s really easy and I used this program to get started and do you want the link? I would love to run with you as you get started. I promise this is good. Really, it’s not a trap to make you feel worse, it really is wonderful.” Guess what, I’m the one getting the “nutball” looks now and I know why because I’ve been there and I recognize the looks of intrusion and disbelief.
So, how does this parallel my faith you ask? The same thing is happening to me in my faith as is in my running. Up until a few years ago I wasn’t a practicing Christian. I had all but turned my back on my faith because of the image of what I thought the church embodied (just like I did with people who ran). I tell you what, it sure as heck didn’t look like fun to be like “church people” and everyone kind of sounded crazy and it made me uncomfortable. The truth is that I’m experiencing the same thing spiritually as I am with my running. I feel like I’m pushing out of this imaginary box of my own perceptions and into some kind of reality that has eluded me in the past. I’m forcing myself out of my comfort zone and waking up to a world of things I never knew I was capable of desiring (the enormous amount of love and patience and dedication and desire to help others beyond myself is bigger than anything I could have ever hoped to find when I started to go to church). I am again experiencing some very real things and telling people about it and getting the same “you’re a nutball” looks and I want to say (again), “No really, this is good. It’s not a trap. Seriously, the reality is far different than what it looks like.”
So, I will continue to run and tell people about my experiences. I will continue grow in my faith and tell people about my experiences. I will continue to get the crazy looks, but I will completely understand them because I’ve been on the giving end of those looks for so many years.
Happy Cinco de Mayo all – have a margarita or four for me! Oh, and watch Slumdog Millionaire - it’s awesome.
Putting the FU in fun
I so hate it when people gossip. I hate it even more when I get sucked into it by proximity. I think the most amazing thing is that the people who do it are so damn oblivious to how much I hate it and how they're EXACTLY the same as the people they gossip about. I mean come on. I never shut up EXCEPT when you start gossiping around me and then I jump on the first opportunity to get out of the conversation. Pay attention people.
Seriously, when I hear it or get stuck listening to it, I get the physical sensation of being kicked in the stomach. ugh. And never fear ladies, I work with a bunch of men and we ain't go nothing on them. Men are vicious, and I mean vicious. Seriously though, I have absolutely no idea how to stop someone from gossiping to me. I mean, if it's someone I don't know and love, I can just excuse myself. But in the real world, my friends gossip and I can't just go all self-righteous on them and starting belittling them (I guess I could, but I wouldn't have too many friends then). So I listen, all the while looking for a point where I can change the course of the conversation so I don't have to listen anymore!
Increase this discomfort exponentially for vaguely racist conversations (oh, the swine flu has opened my eyes to a lot around here), political conversations where I'm the only democrat, and conversations about the role of women in the world (between other women!?!?!?). Sometimes, I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin. Send some comment love my way on tactful ways to get out of these situations because I'm at a loss, and I've decided that a great big FU really isn't appropriate - ever!
Seriously, when I hear it or get stuck listening to it, I get the physical sensation of being kicked in the stomach. ugh. And never fear ladies, I work with a bunch of men and we ain't go nothing on them. Men are vicious, and I mean vicious. Seriously though, I have absolutely no idea how to stop someone from gossiping to me. I mean, if it's someone I don't know and love, I can just excuse myself. But in the real world, my friends gossip and I can't just go all self-righteous on them and starting belittling them (I guess I could, but I wouldn't have too many friends then). So I listen, all the while looking for a point where I can change the course of the conversation so I don't have to listen anymore!
Increase this discomfort exponentially for vaguely racist conversations (oh, the swine flu has opened my eyes to a lot around here), political conversations where I'm the only democrat, and conversations about the role of women in the world (between other women!?!?!?). Sometimes, I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin. Send some comment love my way on tactful ways to get out of these situations because I'm at a loss, and I've decided that a great big FU really isn't appropriate - ever!
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